Final Fantasy: Limited
by Deneir-son
Summary: My own FF story where the heroes are a bit less intelligent and bit less heroic than usual...when they discover they have to save the world, hilarity ensues. All original characters, aside from the ones who appear in every FF game. May up to M later on.
1. Chapter 1

**::Okay, this is a FF fic set in a totally fan-made world, with totally fan-made characters. Still…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Final Fantasy, only the characters I've put in this story.::**

The young man walked casually through the thick forest, down a well-beaten path. He was a human of average height with a slim but muscular build, with long black hair tied in a ponytail, some of it hanging loose on the left side; he had hazel eyes and a faint 5-o'clock shadow. He wore a blue breastplate, shoulder and forearm guards, all armor of a samurai style, over a dark-grey tunic and leggings. His legs were in a pair of tall, black leather boots, and over it all he wore a sleeveless, hooded black long coat, and a black sash tied at his waist held the coat and his daisho in place, and a band held four kunai knives on his left arm. He was Ryu Sorano, the wandering swordsman. Entranced by the beauty of the natural world around him, he failed to hear the faint rustling in the brush beside him.

'Thought ya' could sneak up on me, huh? We'll see about that!' The figure whose head housed these very thoughts suddenly leapt from the surrounding brush. He was a half-goblin, taller than an average human and a bit thinner than Ryu, with a Mohawk dyed black and blue and blue eyes that peered through a pair of glasses, as well as multiple piercings in his slightly pointed ears. His lower jaw held two slightly long fangs, and there were tinges of green on the tips of his ears, elbows, shoulders and jaw line. He wore grey-blue pants and knee-high black leather boots, a white sleeveless shirt tucked into his pants, a black jacket with the sleeves torn off, fingerless brown leather gloves and a large brown leather belt covered in pouches and tools. It also held a gun holster, albeit an empty one; he held the gun in his right hand. In the other he held a small sledgehammer that he was currently swinging at the traveling swordsman.

Ryu turned in time to have that very same hammer slam into his stomach with enough force to wind him. He fell to one knee, clutching his struck abdomen, and looked up coughing to see a revolver pointed to his face.

"Though you could mug me, eh?" said the tall half-goblin. He cocked the guns hammer for added threat. When Ryu was finished coughing he glared at the man.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" he yelled as he stood quickly, the gun following. "Damn it, Jorn, you told me to meet you here!" The half-goblin, the engineer who was indeed known as Jorn Skemeist, looked up for a moment in thought. He then nodded and laughed.

"Oh yeah," he replied, holstering his gun and hammer before helping up his friend. "How's it goin'?" Ryu cocked an eyebrow but couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'm fine, Jorn," he said. "I'm just fine. Since it's getting late, how about we set up camp and you can tell me what we're doing out here?"

"Sounds like a plan, boss," he answered. Given the two companions' experience in traveling and the number of trees in the area, it didn't take long for them to set up their small campsite. "…and that rabbit was the reason I had to set back my the development on my bicycle invention," finished Jorn as they sat opposite each other by a small fire.

"Damn," said a surprised Ryu. "That's pretty screwed up. But anyway, what's the plan for this little trip?" Jorn finished cleaning his glasses and replaced them on his face. He sat up and cleared his throat.

"Well," he started, "I got a tip at the pub from some mercenary that the fabled Cavern of Thieves isn't far from the very city we live in. In fact, it's supposed to be in the deepest area of this very forest!"

"The Cavern of Thieves?" he asked. The raven-haired samurai was quite interested but also a bit disbelieving. "The legendary cave of treasures that rivals the treasury of the greatest kingdom? Sounds like a great find, but even if it is here in the forest, it's said to be guarded by a band of greedy thugs, any one of whom would slit their momma's throat for a single gil."

"Very true," Jorn replied. "But I did some research; at best, that seems to be just a silly superstition, and even if it was true, the tale is hundreds of years old. There's almost no chance that anyone would even be living in the Cavern anymore." Ryu nodded as he gazed into the fire and considered his friend's information.

"Sounds reasonable," he said. "But what if there is someone guarding it? How would we go about getting our hands on the treasure?" Jorn gave a small laugh. He pulled out his gun and spun the cylinder for dramatic effect.

"Either they give us the treasure, or we give 'em hell," he stated with an evil grin. Ryu lifted his still sheathed sword and studied, a smile of his own forming.

"Ah, the subtle way, I see," he said, mouth dripping with sarcasm, and they both began to laugh.

*****

Not far from where the two friends sat, in a large system of caves, sounds of anguish could be heard echoing off the stone walls. Inside, in the inner-most cave, stood three figures: one holding up the other from behind as the third continuously swung her wooden staff into the held man's face and stomach.

The attacking woman was a half-elf and short of stature, with long brown hair and blue eyes that glared from behind their glasses. She wore a black tunic that was tucked into a pair of white baggy pants that had a thick, light green stripe running down either side and a thick brown leather belt and matching boots and gloves. Over it all she wore a long blue cloak, and held a twisted wooden staff, the aforementioned beating implement. In short, hat aside, she wore the robes of a witch of the Black Order: a black mage.

Her companion, the one holding the suffering man from behind, was a cat-girl who was slightly taller than her with short, bleached brown hair and hazel, cat-like eyes which were also covered by a pair of glasses, only with thicker black frames, and brown-furred ears and a tail. She was dressed almost entirely in black: a slightly loose black shirt tucked into a matching sash and leggings, with black wraps around her lower legs and a pair of soft black shoes with a toe split in each one, as well as a light, black jacket whose sleeves were tucked into the wrappings on her forearms, holding her fingerless black gloves in place. On her back were two straight, single-edged blades, and on her forehead was tied a black headband with a foreign character on it. It all marked her as a ninja.

"And _this_ is for trying to leave after sneaking in!" cried the mage, once more bashing the poor man's face with her staff.

"Um, Sarasa?" asked the cat-girl. The furious half-elf stopped long enough to give her a questioning look. "I think this is the guy who was delivering the supplies we ordered. And he didn't sneak in, we invited him in to unload all the stuff, remember?"

"Oh," was the mage's only reply. She stood in hard thought for a moment before looking up at the battered man again. "Well…he's ugly!" she proclaimed before ramming the large head of the staff into the poor merchant's belly. The ninja girl sighed, and no sooner, Sarasa halted her assault and closed her eyes. A moment later they shot back open and she had a wicked grin on her face.

"Sakura!" she exclaimed happily. Sakura, the dark-clad assassin, tilted her head in question. "Forget this guy! My babies found something!"

*****

Back at Ryu and Jorn's campsite, the two sat eating the dinners they had prepared. Unknown to them, a pair of angry, bloodshot eyes watched from the bushes. The creature these eyes belonged to saw them as one thing, and one thing only: food.

**::What will happen next? Hope you all enjoyed this, please R&R, and I'll have more up soon! Later!::**


	2. Chapter 2

**::Time for chapter 2! I haven't had any feedback for this (at least not on the site), but for the one person I know is reading, hope you enjoy it!::**

Sarasa sat at a small round table covered in a purple, silk tablecloth, waving her hands over the crystal ball she was focusing on. Sakura perched on a large chest on all fours behind her (signifying her feline attributes), looking on curiously.

"So what's up?" she asked. She looked at the divining object for what she felt must have been the millionth time, only to once again see nothing but a distorted view of the room behind it. "Are you even seeing anything? Or have you been kicking back the elven wine again?"

"Very funny," her companion answered, sparing an eye-roll. "I know you can't see anything, you have to know how to use magic for that." Sakura gave a 'mew' of acknowledgement just as a grin split Sarasa's face. "Ah, it seems my widdle chubses found two unsuspecting trespassers! Shall we go get them?"

"Might as well," she said. She hopped off of her perch and strapped on her twin ninja-to. "Anything to free me from the cabin fever that's starting to set in." The black mage picked up her staff and led the way out of the cave-home.

*****

Ryu and Jorn sat waiting for the coffee they had put on the fire to finish brewing. They were looking forward to their hot beverages so much, they didn't even notice, until it was too late, that a ravenous beast the likes of which had never been seen was about to strike.

The creature came bursting out of the brush, roaring and growling. It appeared to be a small orca, only it had the eyes, nose, fangs, arms and clawed hands of a werewolf, and a constant spray of water was being shot from its blowhole.

"What the hell is that?!" cried Ryu. Before any answer could be offered, the monster was on them. Acting fast, Ryu drew his katana and ran at the beast, slicing in an upward-diagonal attack as he passed. Jorn followed up by firing all six shots from his revolver, all hitting the abomination dead-on. Ryu nimbly made his way back to his friend's side, bringing his blade to the ready.

"I think we got it," said Jorn. They both started to smile, but their smiles quickly faded as they saw the beast howl at the gibbous moon as the wounds they had inflicted closed up and vanished as if they were never there. "Aw, now that's a load of shit!"

"Don't worry," Ryu assured his companion. "We'll just have to get serious and attack again. Besides, anything that ugly _wants_ to die." Encouraged by Ryu's words, he and Jorn readied their weapons and attacked.

…..it's hard to say what exactly happened next. However, if anyone had been walking through the forest that night, they would have told you that the sounds of flesh rending, bones breaking and organs rupturing could be heard, along with screams that could only result from unbearable pain and agony. They might have also mentioned the generous amounts of blood splattered on the surrounding plant life. Simply put, whatever happened did not go well for the two adventurers.

*****

"Aww!" Sakura cooed. The ninja and her mage companion walked into the clearing to see a swordsman and a machinist almost literally being eaten alive by the abomination that was present. "They're gettin' eaten! But no time for that now, make with the magic to call it off."

"Yeah, yeah," Sarasa answered with a sigh. She bowed her head, closed her eyes and raised her staff. She began chanting a spell that would make the monster she had created stand down and release its prey. It did just that. "There, that was easy enough. Now come help me lug these two back to the caves so we can loot 'em!"

"Yay! We get treasure!" exclaimed the feline-ninja. The two of them put out the campfire and attempted to lift the two hapless travelers. Discovering that to be a nigh impossible task, they resorted to dragging them. Had they stayed just a few moments longer, they would have noticed yet another rustling in the surrounding brush. However, this time a small being jumped out.

He was about three-and-a-half feet tall, very thin and had a large, ski-slope nose and a huge, perpetual grin on his face. He had red hair that was barely longer than stubble, blue eyes and wore a very oversized, baggy forest green tunic, equally baggy brown pants and an oversized brown leather belt and shoes. On his head was a long, baggy hood that matched his tunic, and in his hand he carried a wooden spoon that was taller than him.

"I'm a spoon-gnome!" he stated, seemingly to the very air around him. He stuck a pose, slamming the end of his spoon onto the ground and placing his other fist on his hip, before running off after the two bandits and their unfortunate prisoners. He kept to the shadows the entire time.

When the five of them finally reached the caves (four, perhaps, as the elusive gnome was nowhere to be seen), Sakura got a mischievous grin on her face despite how heavily she and Sarasa were both panting. "Damn, they were heavy," she said. Sarasa simply nodded her agreement as she caught her breath. "No time to dwell on that now. Let the looting begin!"

*****

'Ugh, what the hell happened?' thought Ryu as he slowly regained consciousness. He opened his eyes, pleased that the light source that met them was low and soft. The first thing he saw was the face of a girl with short bleached hair, large blue eyes and brown cat ears wearing a black headband and black-framed glasses. She smiled down at him. 'Jorn? No way, Jorn's not nearly that pretty…or female. Who is she? Wait a minute; Jorn? Where is he…? That-that…thing! WHOA!'

"Easy there," Sakura said as she grabbed Ryu's shoulders. The samurai gasped for air and looked around; he was now sitting on a large, soft bed, the cat-girl kneeling behind him. "Relax. You're okay now," she said with a warm smile.

"But, Jorn," he began. "We were attacked by that…thing!"

"Oh, you mean the whale-wolf!" she answered with a giggle. "Don't worry, we took care of it. You and your friend are fine. He's resting in the other room, my friend is watching over him."

"So…you saved us?" he asked. Sakura nodded. It was then that Ryu noticed he wasn't wearing his armor or coat, and that his daisho was missing as well. Still, given the news he just heard, he put it in the back of his head for the moment. "Wow, thanks," he said with a blush, partially due to his awkwardness around women he found attractive and that he figured out his head had been resting in the girl's lap. "Um, what's your name?"

"I'm Sakura. Sakura Shikyono, nice to meet you…?"

"I'm Ryu Sorano," he replied. He was about to ask about his belongings when he heard the 'BANG!' of a gun. The next thing he knew, there was a flash of sparks from the plate on Sakura's headband and she fell back onto the bed. Jorn came walking into the room backwards, his gun aimed down the corridor. "YOU SHOT HER!"

"You're welcome," said the half-goblin. He threw Ryu's things onto the bed next to him. "Here's your stuff, we can get out of here now…I don't even want to know why you two were on that bed."

"What are you talking about?!" he yelled. "What's gotten into you?! She was being really nice to me!" At that moment, Sakura gave a growl as she sprung up, kunai knife in hand, and stabbed Jorn in the back, forcing out a 'GKK!' from her victim as he fell to the floor. Ryu simply shrugged. "Eh, fair enough."

"Ryu…!" Jorn managed to grunt. "They're…trying to enslave us!" Ryu rolled his eyes and offered Sakura his hand, which she readily accepted.

"I'm really sorry about that," he said as he helped the ninja up. "Are you alright?"

"Thanks," she answered. "I'm fine. But…" she wrapped her arms around the samurai in a hug and whispered in his ear: "You should've listened to your friend!" At that moment, in the cave's far corner, a redheaded gnome poked his grinning head out from behind a rock.

"The plot thickens!" he said, seemingly to no one in particular.

**::There ya' have it! R&R please; later!::**


	3. Chapter 3

**::It's chapter 3!::**

"Listened?" ask Ryu. He the girl hugging him and his ensuing blush was greatly overriding it ability to comprehend what Sakura was saying. "Listen to wha-ah, damn it!" The samurai's understanding came too late, however, as the cat-girl quickly dropped to the floor and swept her leg out at his legs.

Ryu fell with a soft thud and an "Umph!" The next thing he knew, Sakura was straddling his stomach, holding the tip of a kunai to his throat. She smiled mischievously at him.

"Give up?" she asked.

"No!" came Jorn's strangled cry. He clawed at the floor to try and help in some way, but to no effect. Slowly, he reached for his revolver. "You're not gonna' win this you-AAAH!!!" The machinist gave a great cry of pain as he felt the weapon in his back pushed in further. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

He looked back to see a triumphant Sarasa standing over him, her foot on the kunai. "Don't even think about it," she laughed. "We've already won, and there's nothing you can do!"

"So," Sakura giggled, looking from the suffering half-goblin to the man beneath her. "I'll ask again: give up?" Ryu gave a grin of his own.

"Never!" Quickly, he knocked the hand holding the knife away from his throat and grabbed the ninja by her shoulders, rolling as he did. Sakura gave a loud "mew" of surprise, and suddenly the situation was reversed. "So, do _you_ give up, kunoichi?"

"Of course not," she answered. She kneed Ryu in the rear and rolled backward as she did, and the swordsmen rolled with her and jumped to his feet, backing up and taking a fighting stance. Sakura, however, was faster than he thought, and was already up and facing him in a stance of her own. "You really think you can win?"

"No," he said. "I _know_ I can. Prepare yourself!" His attack probably would have been impressive, but was interrupted by a certain half-elf clocking him on the head with her staff. "Pre…prepare youz-alf…" He quickly fell.

"Stupid human!" Sarasa gloated. She was about to give Ryu another whack for good measure (and out of her sadistic nature), when a high, psychotic voice cut the air.

"That looked like it hurt!" exclaimed the gnome, poking his head out from behind the rock again. "I'm gonna' see if it did!" He then zipped across the room, passing up Jorn and Sarasa to stand in front of Ryu's prone form, his huge smile ever-present. He gave a few pokes at the samurai's head where the staff had hit, eliciting a loud "OW!" "Yep! He's in pain, alright!"

"You little shit!" cried Ryu as he jumped to his feet, lifting the gnome by his tunic's collar. "That hurts, knock it off!" The gnome dropped his spoon and let out a sound that was something like "Geoah!" "What in the hell are you, anyway?!" Hearing the question, the gnome seemed to go back to his normal grinning self.

"I'm Dub, the spoon-gnome," he said, placing one fist on his belt and pointing the thumb of his other hand to his chest. He seemed infinitely proud of his statement and introduction.

"Gnome?" asked Jorn. He had finally managed to pull the kunai out of his back and stand. "I thought gnomes were just an urban legend?"

"We are!"

"What?!" Jorn asked in confusion. "But you're _right there_!"

"Ssh!" Dub shushed. "The owls might hear you!" A dead silence hit the room, as all eyes fell to the gnome in Ryu's hand. Dub just gave his large grin in response.

"That's it," said Ryu. He jumped back from Sarasa to stand by Jorn. "Enough is enough, I'm ending this!"

"How do you plan on doing that?" asked Sakura, a small smile on her face.

"Yeah," said Sarasa. "You're unarmed."

"Heh. Really now?" he countered. "I may be nowhere near your level, but I've had some basic training in Ninjutsu. Thus, I know how to throw…ANYTHING!" At that, the samurai hefted Dub back and over his shoulder and threw him straight at Sarasa. The gnome yelled "NONONONONO-AAAAAAAH!!!" as he did.

"Shit!" cried the witch. She tried to focus and strike the living missile with her magic. "_Destruction of nature, gather in fl_-" WHAM! The half-elf and the gnome both fell to the floor, groaning on the edge of consciousness. Jorn ran over and pointed his gun at the girl, making sure she stayed subdued. Sakura stared wide-eyed at the whole thing, and before she knew it, Ryu was before her, kicking her kunai out of her hand. She gave a small "Eek!"

"So," started Ryu. "How about we get to know each other and talk this through, yeah?" The cornered cat-girl gave a nervous smile and nodded.

***Several minutes of negotiation later…***

"So we have a deal?" asked Ryu to the now-seated Sakura. "We put all of this behind us, we'll help you two find the _real_ Cavern of Thieves, and to make this all up to us we'll split the treasure 60/40 in our favor?"

"Yeah," she sighed. Then, despite her feline nature, she gave Ryu what he could only describe as "puppy-dog eyes." "But I really hate losing so many shinies. You _sure_ you don't wanna' let me have it all?"

"Um, y-yeah," he said. He found it unnaturally difficult to say no, but he steeled himself. "Now go get ready, I'm gonna' check on Jorn and your friend, Sarasa." He made his way into the next room/cave where Jorn was supposed to be looking after the mage. "Jorn, is she awake yet?"

"Oh-no, not yet," he called back. He cocked the hammer of his gun. 'So, try to enslave me will ya'? Hah! Well take this!' He then proceeded to fire numerous shots into the prone girl, laughing maniacally as he did. He suddenly stopped, however, when he felt a presence behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see Ryu giving him an annoyed look.

"And I'm sure taking pot-shots at her is helping?" asked the samurai. The half-goblin gave an uneasy laugh and scratched the back of his head.

"Well, I just thought-" his explanation was suddenly cut off as Sarasa woke up and leaped to her feet, eyes ablaze with arcane energy.

"YOU FUCKERS!"

From a nearby town, an enormous, fire mushroom cloud erupted from the heart of the forest. Later investigations would only result in the discovery of a large crater. The cause was left as a mystery.

**::And that, folks, is chapter 3. No, that's not the end, the "heroes" are not dead…yet. . R&R please. Later!::**


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